Less Thinking, More Doing

Sigh, I guess it’s my turn to post. If you can’t figure out who it is from that…well then you obviously have not been reading these blog posts! Thanks for nothing.

We’re currently in Vang Vieng, Laos, which is backpackers’ haven because of inebriated tubing down the Nam Song River, stopping along various bars to drink cheap beer and in the very recent past, shroom/happy shakes. There’s been a lot of government crackdown on the bars operating along the rivers, particularly with respect to the drugs, since alcohol/drugs + river tubing = 7 deaths in the last 7 months. All very recent regulations.

Anyway, VV is not the subject of this post. Just some context as to why I am here blogging instead of exploring the extremely beautiful outdoors here in VV…which is that Marvin is sick like a dog AGAIN. Unlucky guy. But the big winner is YOU, since now I have some time to write about the rest of our time in Vietnam.

(Dan) Nha Trang-Levine
It was going to be hard to top Dalat, which I must reiterate is a wonderful place to visit. (Wow, I must be getting old if I’m using words like “wonderful” and shit. What I meant was, DALAT WAS PRETTY SWEET. CANYONS & WATERFALLS, SO SICK BRAH.)
I’d just like to remind you that water is strong and here, it is going straight at my nuts with a vengeance.

Nha Trang was mostly uneventful because it’s overtouristed. Russians seem to visit as all the signs & menus had Russian on it. The usual English/Aussie crowd was around; met some nice ones at a bar one night. Apparently San Francisco is a very popular and likable city for Europeans.

(Oh boy, I know I dislike blogging since I just took an internet break from this oh-so-difficult task…

…and I’m going to take another one)

Okay, where were we. Nha Trang boasts the “longest cable car” in the world. I guess it was a pretty long ride; 20+ minutes on a gondola over the ocean to an island resort. On this island is the Vinpearl Resort, AND WATERPARK. We had only planned on going on the gondola and not the waterpark, but the gondola by itself was friggin expensive ($20) and going into the park was an additional $5, so we said fuck it, we’re going to a goddamn waterpark in Vietnam.
On the way to the gondola. An insanely heat-impervious local. SERIOUSLY!!??!?!??

Well, the weather was great which made for a really nice gondola ride.
Some guy was coughing the whole time…yay germs in an enclosed box in the sky.
Another view from the gondola. See the screaming skull face in the clouds? Maybe our stomach were cursed.

The Vinpearl Waterpark has a few roller coasters, an indoor game area, a shopping area, various street performances (poor chained up monkeys) and of course, a water park area with a very nice beach. But it all felt weird because the park had so few people. Ghost park.
Going up their mini roller coaster thingy. You control the speed with the hand brake. Unfortunately, this meant that you could get stuck going slowwwww behind old people or screaming girls going 5mph. Zzzzzzzzz
They had an aquarium. I like toitles.
Sun was starting to go down
NIGHTMARES…aka entrance into big arcade with old games, but all free. Many broken cabinets. Try playing SF with a broken joystick and 4 buttons.
The towers that support the gondola light up at night. So romantic
Insert random food pic. Nem nuong! So good! Except I had to wrap it myself. Definitely prefer someone doing the work for me so I can pig out faster.

Well throughout the day, Marvin was feeling progressively worse. This would be the first time he got food poisoning – eventually I would also get some form of sickness the following day. After the waterpark, we went back to the hotel and he proceeded to ptfo until the next day – probably slept around 12 hours.

My sick time came the next day. My stomach is almost always iffy, but something I ate was making me feel worse than normal: nauseas and weak. Well we were in a shopping center and for a while I was willing the vomit down, but I would not win that war. We were taking a long break in the food court when finally my stomach erupted like the Chinese riots. “Play time is over! I am going to fuck everything up right now!” I tried to walk what seemed like a mile to the bathroom – and by try I mean 3 steps – before I turned around and went to the nearest garbage can. I’m grateful it was a big trash can with a rotating lid. Fasted puke of my life.

[Hm, cafe owner is now full screen skyping with his wife and their kids are play fighting. OH what?! There’s another man now! What is going on…whose kids are these??]

Yup, that was it for Nha Trang. We’d book a sleeper train from Nha Trang to Da Nang, with our destination being the small, ancient town Hoi An (just south of Da Nang).
Oh this was not fun with a rebellious stomach. Eventually I vomited again in the train bathroom sink. I stood around for about 20 minutes thinking about it before I yak’d. Also saw some other girl puke too. Partners in puking. Shoulda said something.

After the overnighter on the train, we’re now in…

Hoi An
…turned out to be a really cool area. There’s an old historic town area to walk around, with lots of restaurants, culture, and street life. The beach was also a 10-min bike ride. Lots of relax time here, so not many interesting stories. Instead, pictures:
Small bridge with some colorful lanterns.
Cua Dai (sp) beach. Pretty nice.
One of the many bridges in Hoi An. Haven’t forgotten about the fob poses.
Lit up at night. LOVELY AIN’T IT
Colorful lamp store. You know lamp?
Lots of mini wax food models for sale
Finally, we get a desire for hamburgers & fries. Tasted soooo undeservingly good.

The most exciting thing we did was a motorcycle tour around rural Hoi An. Our rides:
WWII-age Russian military bikes.

Shit was really fun. The bikes had 4 gears, kick start, and stalled as often as possible. And they recommend that you do not kick start your bike while you are on it since there is this metal rack thing near the back wheel that will own your ankle & calf if you do, so every time you stall you have to get off the bike to start. Overall, really really fun riding in the mud, through rural areas, and in crazy Vietnam traffic. Marvin named his bike Boris. Mine was Olga. Don’t ask. Some pictures from our ride:
Ducksss. They waddle through the rice paddies eating something from the ground and quack a lot.
Swallow farm for harvesting bird’s nest. They play swallow sounds from a speaker to attract more swallows. Apparently it’s more profitable to turn bird’s nest into an energy drink, as you use much less bird’s nest than the traditional thing.
Not even from our bike ride. Whatever. Sunset, boom.
Old Vietnamese lady after a sketchy bridge. She was really happy to see the blonde white people, hugging and kissing them. Not so much other Asians…bitch. Another funny thing is that our English tour guide said she makes her own perfume. Turns out this “perfume” was just white flower oil type stuff (pain relief, sinus decongestant). “Lovely perfume, ain’t it?” – silly English man.
Hoi An chicken rice after the ride. Delicious.

Well, the damn cafe owner turned off the A/C so I guess I’m done here! He must have caught me looking at his skype. Hanoi and maybe Luang Prabang, Laos next.

-jeboody