food | Less Thinking, More Doing

Preface: jbdy here; this is going to be a text bomb, if you’re here for pictures just scroll to the bottom.

So apparently I’m supposed to recount the time from after Khao Yai National Park until now. I’ve been putting it off because I fucking hate the WordPress app for iOS. Marrrrrffin, why are you using suckpress again?? (Funny side story, when asked his username for Scramble, he said – and think as fobby as possible – “em-ay-ahr-ahr-ahr-ahr-ahr-eff-eff-i-n”. Is that only funny to me? Damnit it probably is.)

Bangkok

We originally weren’t planning on coming back to Bangkok, but after reading up on my anti-malarial meds, Doxycycline, and its apparent side effect of sun-sensitivity, I convinced Marvin to head back to BKK get some different meds from the travel clinic. I was also worried about his prophylaxis of choice (mefloquine) and its side effect of making people GO CRAZY; I didn’t want to deal with that for rest of the trip. Cause Marfin you already cray

Mango Tango has become a must in BKK

Ended up staying two nights in Bangkok, on a street we dubbed Ladyboy Lane, because…yeah you get it. Got boat noodles at BTS Victory Monument and was disappointed – guess it will be hard to match that hey-what’s-this-omg-mind-blown experience in Ayutthaya.

Ah, quick story about BKK dirtayness: ate a street stall near our hotel, probably one of the grungiest, sketchiest places I’ve ever eaten. Marvin couldn’t see from his seat, but I had a perfect view of the cockroaches and big rats scurrying around. al;djks;kafk;asd;fkja;kdjsf….anyway, on to…

Siem Reap, Cambodia

If you believe the internet, the journey from BKK to SR is a perilous one, fraught with scammers and more scammers. Luckily, we went on a weekday and thus there was a lower supply of tourists, which I suppose causes the scammers to put their efforts elsewhere. The easy part: 6-hour bus ride from BKK to Aranyaprathet, a quick tuk tuk to the border, and the visa paperwork at the border. During the visa part, we got stalked by a young “tourist information guide” trying to herd tourists onto the “free shuttle” to the border town’s bus station, where a cheap but super slow (and waits to fill-up) bus or expensive ass taxis are available. (If anyone is actually interested in the BKK-SR journey in details, let me know; if you know what to do, you’ll be able to easily avoid all the scams.)

Siem Reap was an interesting town. I should have expected it, but it was a superrrr touristy area. For the most part that’s good for first-time visitors, as it made everything really easy to get to and there were plenty of activities to keep us occupied for 4-5 days. I’m not going to post too many temple pictures because, well, you can find better ones on the net and I’m not the best photographer.

Oh, the bad part is that you have to deal with hordes of annoying Asian tourists. Angkor Wat sunrise? Forget it, not worth it. Even if it wasn’t cloudy (which it was, woke up at 4:30 for nothing), the fact that we were fighting to keep our spot from pushy Asian folks would be enough to ruin the experience. Go take your stupid duckface self-pose somewhere else you assgirl. Anyway, some pictures below…

Fobbin’ it up, temple style

Some lights in SR, near one of many night markets, some water and bridges

You’ve seen this before

As good as it got. Cloud troll

Rode an ATV around the countryside. Saw a lot of these guys and their poo. It’s wet season here so of course I got soaked.

Yea suck on that.

So to summarize Siem Reap…temples, $4-5 massages, touristy Khmer food (still good), happy pizza, night markets with same same shops, ice cream.

Phnom Penh

After another 6-hour bus ride, we’ve arrived at the capitol of Cambodia. Our first real meal…

Deep fried tarantula. So I felt something crawling on my leg while they were showing us the live tarantula and thought, “Ok, there’s now a tarantula on my leg”. Instead, it was a GIANT COCKROACH and I was too shocked to freak out. I can’t believe a cockroach crawled on me, I hate those pieces of shit. Judge all you want. Bleerrgghhghhhhhh

So as I’m writing this in my guesthouse, I am majorly missing Bangkok. I even miss Siem Reap, because the Cashew Nut guesthouse was really a nice place. Here in Europe Guesthouse we have dirtyass sheets and moldy pillows. Worst of all SLOW WIFI omgz i can hardly play scramble.

I’m pretty sure this pillow was originally white. If it’s not obvious…don’t stay here when you come to PP.

It smells awful when I lay down. Fuuckkkkkkkk get me out of here.

The only benefit to this guesthouse is that its location – riverfront with a lot of restaurants & bars, including the go-go bars aka hostess bars. No, I am not going to them, goshhhhh get yer mind outta the gutter. But it’s still amusing to walk by bars called “The Horny Bar” and “Pussy Cat”, and be angrily hollered/solicited at. Marvin gets so embarrassed.

TL;DR bangkok, eat; siem reap, temples, eat, massage; phnom penh, shithole hostel.

What’s next? One more day of PP, then off to the beach at Sihanoukville. After that, it’s back to PP and then Vietnam! Where we will get even fatter. Sigh (but it feels so good at the time)

Picture time!

I love 7-11 taro sliced bread

Some kind of peanut mixture wrapped with rice noodley stuff

Some kind of coconut soft cake

Fried pork chop and pork belly with garlic crispy bits. SO GOOD

Roti sai mai, an Ayutthayan speciality? Thai-style sugarcane cotton candy wrapped with roti thingy

Before we finished up Ayutthaya we went back for seconds of boat noodles.

Chibi maki sushi. There’s an angry bird one in there. They love angry birds in asia.

Buttered bread with corn in the middle or something

Rented bikes. Big mistake, got scooters later.

Marfin doin his thang…I guess…

The dog didn’t want to move so this happened

Practicing our fob poses. Obviously still need a lot of work in these self-photos

Calling all ladyboys

Huge ass spider in a cave. Khao Yai

Swam in a spring where locals take baths. Then millipede happened. Khao Yai

Crazy fast centipede in the cave. Khao Yaieeeeletsgtfooooooo

Marvin’s true self. Khao Yai

Bats. So many bats. Khao Yai

Gibbon, eating. Khao Yai

Barking deer…you are a LIAR! Khao Yai

Tour guides aren’t afraid of anything; he tamed this little guy. Khao Yai

Umm… (Khao Yai)

…yeah. Nice waterfall though. Khao Yai

Asians and their picture-taking poses. So many things to learn. Siem Reap

Bike ride through Siem Reap Angkor area

I love this picture

Cambodian noodles. Siem Reap

Khmer chicken curry, Siem Reap

Angkor Wat sunrise, ruined by people

-jeboody

First stop outside of Bangkok: Ayutthaya.

There wasn’t much expected for this town. We know that there are a bunch of old temples to look at. While it is fun to see the history of Thailand, looking at all the temples can get monotonous. To make things interesting, we decided to rent bicycles.

I think we rode for MAYBE half a mile before we realized it was going to b a dumb idea, so we went back and upgraded to SCOOTERS!

Scooters made the day much more interesting. If anyone has been to Asia before, you know a majority of people ride scooters around, splitting lanes and such. I have very little scooter/motorcycle experience so it took some time getting used to.

jbd note: This was painfully obvious, since Marvin never switched off his turn signal, almost ran into a parked truck accelerating from 0, and his helmet freakin broke off while we were racing back to beat the rain.

With the scooters, we really got to see everything we wanted to see and more. We did the usual sightseeing of the temples but the highlights of this town was discovering the new foods.

Riding around town, we can see where a lot of the locals like to eat. We just followed the crowds and found two new foods sai mai and the highlight being kǔaytǐaw ruea (boat noodles). These little bowls of noodles are 15 baht, which is about 50 cents a bowl. People would eat 5-10 in one sitting. I don’t think Jeffry has stopped talking about it. We actually went back for dinner too.

After a long delay at Ayutthaya Train Station, we were off to Pak Chong/Khao Yai National Park. We spent two days here. We went into bat caves, watched bats leave their caves, I touched a bunch of huge bugs, trekked the jungle, and looked for wildlife.

bat cave